The Quest of My Life
02 Dec 2015

“Then the LORD said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD-but the LORD was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake-but the LORD was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire-but the LORD was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, Why are you here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:12)

In my early 20’s, I wanted to help the world. Thus I began the biggest quest of my life – to find my vocation. I tried to listen for God and to find God’s will for me, but I was not able to hear Him. I struggled. I searched and searched and searched. Still, I couldn’t find my calling. It seemed like total darkness. I had done various ministries in the church, but I wanted to do something more. I was in a small community, and I couldn’t find my vocation in the church at the time. I wanted to go on a mission, but my job wouldn’t allow it, and the missions were far away. I wanted to be a scientist for the Vatican, but all they had were scientists of Astronomy. After a few years, I gave up. In 2007, I found Catholics on Call. Soon after, I learned the principles of Catholic Social Teaching. Years passed by, and still no call. Then, finally one year, in 2012, I found a vocation. That year, I found one of the most meaningful vocations of my life – it was a very unique, special call. That year, I finally found peace. I learned how to take life one day at a time. I realized that God wants me to take my life day by day. I finally found my calling – to live each and every day for and with God. That was also the opening of my ears to hear God’s voice. Like Elijah, it wasn’t in the fire or the wind or the earthquake; It was in the whisper of the silence. It’s the little things we do each and every day. Looking back on my life, I realize that God was there with me step by step. He was molding me for a special call. It was what I had been searching for all this time. I also learned a new skill – how to hear a calling. Now I keep finding little callings here and there all the time.

Sometimes our calling takes a little time. Our calling changes as we grow and change. This Advent, I invite you to reflect on how God is molding you for ministry and what little steps you can take every day to be a light for God.